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Everybody's Dying To Meet You

Alan Richardson

Genre: Comedy

Cast size: 5

Duration: 40 mins approx

Alan Richardson | Comedy | One Act | 5f

Short synopsis

Sue and her three friends meet for occasional picnics at unusual locations. This time, they find themselves surrounded by tombstones in a neglected Victorian cemetery… and it’s getting dark. Mixing gallows humour with every classic horror ingredient you could imagine, including ghosts, vampires, werewolves and zombies, this award winning play offers substantial roles for five women plus potential fun for your technical crew.

Sue and her three friends meet for occasional picnics at unusual locations. This time, they find themselves surrounded by tombstones in a neglected Victorian cemetery… and it’s getting dark.

Rebecca, who chose this location, tells them that it is not only the final resting place for several murderers, but it’s also reputedly haunted with a history of visitors mysteriously disappearing without trace. As a result, the cemetery is now a magnet for ghost tours led by guides dressed and made-up like horror film characters. Strange incidents and sightings have been reported. “Because it’s all faked,” declares Marianne, the cynic of the group.

Jenna, who worries about everything, fears that they might get accidentally locked in. This, alarmingly, turns out to be the case when they discover the gates are locked, earlier than expected. This shouldn’t be a problem when they’ve all got phones. But it is when everybody’s phone mysteriously stops working.

Then they encounter Arabella Underwood, who looks like a tour guide. Or might she be something more sinister?  A nearby tombstone is inscribed with the same name and her vocabulary ranges over a century. Arabella says she is about to celebrate her birthday with all her closest neighbours, including two murderers whom she regards as old friends. All the picnickers, except Jenna, dismiss all this as a complete wind-up.

But when they realise all their watches have been frozen at the same time and Arabella demonstrates her spooky ability to cause church bells to chime midnight (when it isn’t) and summon a low rolling mist, it’s scary time, especially when they’ve been cordially invited to her birthday party.

Mixing gallows humour with every classic horror ingredient you could imagine, including ghosts, vampires, werewolves and zombies, this award winning play offers substantial roles for five women plus potential fun for your technical crew.

5f

  • Sue – Very easy-going (f)
  • Rebecca – Bit of a know-all (f)
  • Jenna – Worries about everything (f)
  • Marianne – The sceptic (f)
  • Arabella – A ghost tour guide…or something more sinister? (Any age) (f)

The four friends can be of any similar age or a mix of different ages.

* Optional supernumeraries: Should you have two actors, one male and one female, who can’t resist the briefest of cameo walk-ons, they should be costumed in the same period as Arabella and each have their own particular personal prop. If you have others who fancy being unnamed cameos,
throw them in. The more the merrier!

Winner of the Scott Salver for the best original play entered in the 2023 Scottish Community Drama Association One Act Play Festival

Free

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Everybody's Dying To Meet You

Free
More information

This play was inspired by an actual event when my sister-in-law and her partner went for an evening stroll in London’s magnificent Nunhead Cemetery and got locked in.

If you require any additional information regarding this script, please don’t hesitate to contact us here.

Frequently asked questions

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All our musicals are included in our perusal service. Through this, representatives of producing organisations can request a USB Stick of perusal material  which comprise the script/libretto and piano/vocal score as PDF files; a Cast (or Studio) Recording as MP3 files and (where available) an MP4 file video of either the premiere production or of a subsequent production.

Some titles have the facility to read the entire script online on our website.

Do we need a Licence To Perform?

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Under the international laws of copyright, you must be in possession of a valid, unexpired licence before performing any piece of theatre unless the owner or managers of the copyright has waived their rights.

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When you request a quotation, it is logged in our system, it forms part of an orderly queue and protects your place in that queue should multiple licensing requests occur for the same show.

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