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Ladybird, Ladybird

Hilary Spiers

Genre: Comedic Drama

Cast size: 5

Duration: 100 mins approx

Hilary Spiers | Comedic Drama | Full-length | 2m, 3f

Short synopsis

Zoë wants a baby. Maggie wants her mum to follow her halfway round the world. Steve wants his mother-in-law to sell her Lincolnshire home. Hugo wants to get to know his new family. And Muriel? She has ideas of her own, but nobody’s bothered to ask her what they are. This wry and fast-moving comedy exposes the ties that bind us together – and how easily they start to fray.

Zoë and Steve are waiting at the airport for the arrival of Maggie, Zoë’s younger sister, who is returning from a year in New Zealand. They are – as they always are – squabbling. Steve wears a permanent air of dissatisfaction, while Zoë is an inveterate worrier. About everything.

Meanwhile Muriel, the girls’ widowed mother, is relaxing in her garden with a glass of wine and is chatting on the phone to a friend, having promised her daughters a nostalgic afternoon tea with all their favourites. 

Steve complains bitterly about the cost of airport parking and the fact that Maggie’s plane appears to be late. Finally she arrives but seems curiously unwilling to rush to the car. The reason soon emerges when Hugo, Maggie’s new husband, joins them, to Steve and Zoë’s mutual astonishment. 

By the time they reach Muriel’s house, Muriel has fallen asleep, She has also absentmindedly eaten all the egg sandwiches, Zoë ‘s favourites. Steve and Zoë are deep in another row and Steve storms off. Soon Zoë discovers that, instead of making all their favourites, Muriel has bought them all from M&S and has forgotten to make her promised rock cakes. Zoë, furious, runs off, followed swiftly by Maggie, appalled that the treacle tart isn’t homemade. Muriel is terribly embarrassed in front of her new son-in-law. However, Hugo, who bears a striking resemblance to Steve, is his polar opposite – cheerful, helpful, the eternal optimist. He is also a psychotherapist specialising in family therapy. ‘How long can you stay?’ asks Muriel.

Later that evening in the garden, Zoë overhears Muriel and Maggie talking about her and how she constantly fusses and drives them both mad, much as they love her. Then Maggie drops the bombshell that she and Hugo are settling permanently in New Zealand. Muriel, clearly upset but more concerned about Zoë, tries to get her to confide in her but is brushed off. Zoë, very upset, disappears into the large garden when Steve, quite drunk, encounters Maggie and tries to persuade his sister-in-law that Muriel should sell the house to a developer he just happens to know. It is just the latest in a string of failed business ideas he has had. Then he makes a clumsy pass at Maggie hinting that she had been a willing participant in a fumble many years earlier. Zoë returns to witness this and misconstrues Maggie’s angry rejection of Steve. 

The following morning, Muriel is up early, wandering in the garden chatting once more to her friend. Hugo joins her and an affection is obviously growing between them. Muriel intimates that she needs to confide in Maggie before she meets her sister later. But the conversation never takes place and when Zoë and Maggie meet in town, secrets tumble out. Zoë and Steve have been trying for a baby with IVF for some time despite their obvious marital difficulties, while Maggie is pregnant and intends to persuade Muriel to move out to New Zealand, ostensibly to spare Zoë the ‘burden’ of looking after her. Zoë counters that Maggie and Steve just want a live-in babysitter and a huge row ensues. 

Both girls rush back to Muriel’s house to confront their mother with each other’s duplicity, but Muriel astounds them by telling them both some home truths, including advising Zoë to leave Steve. She compounds their astonishment by revealing she has a new partner and is starting a business offering adventures to retired people. The girls instantly assume she is the victim of an online dating scam until Muriel shows them pictures of her new partner, a woman. Appalled, the girls call on Hugo to intervene and save the day.

The penultimate scene sees Zoë informing Steve that she’s finally leaving him. They had hoped a baby might bring them together but she now realises it would only ever have been a sticking plaster for a failed marriage. He scoffs and disbelieves her even as the taxi arrives to take her away. 

We are back at the airport for the denouement. Maggie and Hugo are flying back to New Zealand and their new life with, not Muriel, but Zoë in tow. She is going to spread her wings (and help out with the baby). Muriel is also there for a different flight awaiting her lover on the first trip of their new joint venture. And Steve is on the end of Zoë’s phone asking at what temperature he should wash his shirts…

2m, 3f

  • Muriel, 60s
  • Zoë, her elder daughter, 30s
  • Maggie, her younger daughter, late 20s/early 30s
  • Steve, Zoë’s husband*
  • Hugo, Maggie’s husband*

*Can be played by the same actor

Shortlisted for the New Perspectives Long Play Competition 2016

Type
Free

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Ladybird, Ladybird

Free
More information

Play image Photographer: Larry Wilkes

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