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Let's Be 'Avin You!

Geoff Buckingham

Genre: Comedy

Cast size: 9

Duration: 45 mins approx

Geoff Buckingham | Comedy | One Act | 3m, 5f, 1m/f

Short synopsis

With the Police Station under threat of closure, the future there looks bleak; however, the country's most notorious criminal gang have moved onto the patch, and the stoic, but less than competent policemen, vow both to fight the crime wave, and to keep the police station open. Somehow they manage to stumble their way through to victory, but not without the help of the spinsters of the Ladies Knitting Circle.

When the hapless Sergeant Pickles and Constable Cackett realise that Botchington Police Station is under threat of closure by the ruthless Chief Inspector Allcock, the future looks bleak, particularly when they learn that the country's most notorious criminal gang have moved onto their patch. However, they vow to fight this crime wave, and to keep the police station open.

They stumble and bumble their way through a hilarious plot to catch the criminal gang and eventually succeed, with the help of the spinsters of Botchington Ladies Knitting Circle! Their joy is heightened by the discovery that the Chief Inspector's Viagra prescription has been inadvertently swapped with Nytol tablets, resulting in his demotion and their promotion.

We also discover that the Chief Inspector's new girlfriend is not what she seems. The play finishes with the police staff and the eccentric spinsters celebrating their triumph, which is rewarded with a huge donation to keep the police station open, plus an imminent Royal visit!

(3m, 5f, 1m/f)

  • Inspector Allcock - 30+ (m)
  • Sergeant Pickles - 30+ (m)
  • Constable Cackett - 20+ (m)
  • Hilda - a pensioner
  • Myrtle - a pensioner
  • Dottie - a pensioner
  • Dolly - 30+, a cleaner
  • Miss Dixon-Beaver - 18+, tarty, girlfriend of the Inspector
  • Police Courier - any age, non-speaking role (m/f)
Free

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Let's Be 'Avin You!

Free
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All our musicals are included in our perusal service. Through this, representatives of producing organisations can request a USB Stick of perusal material  which comprise the script/libretto and piano/vocal score as PDF files; a Cast (or Studio) Recording as MP3 files and (where available) an MP4 file video of either the premiere production or of a subsequent production.

Some titles have the facility to read the entire script online on our website.

Do we need a Licence To Perform?

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