Two Bodies And A Bottle Of Sauce
Ron Nicol
Genre: Comedy
Cast size: 7
Duration: 50 mins approx
Ron Nicol | Comedy | One Act | 2m, 4f, 1m/f
Short synopsis
- Synopsis
- Characters
Cassiopeia Wrigglesworth-Bottomley-Smythe is the leading light of the local drama group, always demanding the leading role, no matter how unsuitable. Her husband Bertram is director of the group, but can’t cope with Cassiopeia off-stage or on, constantly being accused of having a stream of mistresses. Cassiopeia suspects that neighbour Anastasia might be Bertram’s latest paramour, and casts her as the body, hoping Bertram might give himself away. Unfortunately, cleaner Molly finds the make-believe corpse beforehand and calls the police.
When Detective Inspector Whelping and Constable Shortley arrive, Cassiopeia is afraid of becoming a laughing stock in the local village, and she and Bertram try to bluff things out instead of revealing the true state of affairs.
Whelping and Shortley prove to be an ineffectual detecting team, and truth and invention become blurred in the misdirection and misunderstandings which follow. Whelping discovers a trail of tomato sauce near the body and decides that it’s a vital clue. Anastasia’s had enough of being a dead body and stalks off, but her disappearance isn’t noticed.
Aspiring actress Esmeralda arrives, convincing Whelping that a French hunchback and an exotic dancer have jointly committed the crime. Whelping sends Shortley to find some more clues. Anastasia returns as the body but soon leaves again, and her place is taken by Esmeralda. Whelping concludes that a serial killer is on the loose.
Shortley returns with a bottle of tomato sauce, which convinces Whelping that Molly is the murderer. To prevent Molly’s arrest, Bertram owns up to the deception and reveals that no crime has been committed. Whelping eventually leaves with Constable Shortley.
Esmeralda returns, but is sent packing by Cassiopeia, who suspects that she’s yet another of Bertram’s mistresses. Molly arrives to ask Bertram about the mushroom soup he’s asked her to prepare for supper, concerned that there might be toadstools in the recipe. Bertram assures her that all is well, but he and Anastasia have murder in mind and persuade Cassiopeia to taste the soup.
Applying for and paying royalties
To apply for royalties, please complete the form on our apply for royalties page.
To pay for fixed fee royalties having received your Quotation from us, please go to this payment form.
More information
If you require any additional information regarding this script, please don’t hesitate to contact us here.
Frequently asked questions
Can we try before we buy?
Of course! All our plays and pantomimes have a free Preview Script available for download as an A4 pdf file that contains 60-75% of the full script. If you like what you read then you can buy an inexpensive e-script of the entire play (typically less than half the cost of a traditional printed script) which is licensed to you for your personal use. Purchasing a script copying licence allows you to make just enough copies to support rehearsals and performances.
All our musicals are included in our perusal service. Through this, representatives of producing organisations can request a USB Stick of perusal material which comprise the script/libretto and piano/vocal score as PDF files; a Cast (or Studio) Recording as MP3 files and (where available) an MP4 file video of either the premiere production or of a subsequent production.
Some titles have the facility to read the entire script online on our website.
Do we need a Licence To Perform?
The simple answer is, yes.
Under the international laws of copyright, you must be in possession of a valid, unexpired licence before performing any piece of theatre unless the owner or managers of the copyright has waived their rights.
Why do you insist on providing a formal royalties quotation?
When you request a quotation, it is logged in our system, it forms part of an orderly queue and protects your place in that queue should multiple licensing requests occur for the same show.
Need help?
Contact us
If you need help with our scripts, please contact our customer service team, we would be more than happy to help.
Established for over 25 years
Unearthing future talent
Stagescripts is a trusted licensing company run by theatre professionals with decades of experience on and off stage. Our curated catalogue includes over 1,000 carefully selected plays, musicals, and pantomimes — from fresh, undiscovered writing to well-loved classics.
We’re passionate about helping theatre-makers at every level discover scripts that inspire, challenge, and connect with audiences. Whether you're staging a village hall production or leading a professional company, our team offers expert advice, flexible support, and a responsive, personal service to help your next performance shine.
